| Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female
menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause ... you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles. John Wayne - 1906-1979 |
| The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause ... The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause arrived at my door without warning ... Itchy ... Bitchy ... Sweaty ... Sleepy ... Bloated ... Forgetful and All-Dried-Up. One by one they crept into my cottage in the woods and started to take over my life. The first to arrive was Itchy. I developed this itch on my right calf that was so irritating, I wanted to scratch the skin right off my body! Then Bitchy came to my door. No longer was my PMS contained to one or two days a month ... it was constant PMS. Then I would swing from Bitchy to Weepy for God's sake, what was wrong with me? Ding-dong ... It's the middle of the night and Sweaty has crawled into bed with me. Oh, yes, Sweaty brought embarrassing hot flashes and introduced me to night sweats where it seemed as if a faucet had been attached between my breasts. Of course Sweaty brought about Sleepy, I was tired all the time. I would wake up so many times in the night and then not be able to get back to sleep. Bloated crept in slowly, my once-svelte figure got thick through the middle section, even though I was following my weight-loss program that had worked so well for so many years! I can't quite remember when Forgetful arrived, but one day my brain stopped working. I considered myself a pretty focused woman until Forgetful came and I could not keep a coherent thought in my brain. Last, All-Dried-Up slowly encroached upon my life. Sex was no longer on the top of my list ... or on my list at all. Happy Menopausing! Jenny Joseph |
| "I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for
childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week." Erma Bombeck - 1927-1996 |
| "Going to Hollywood to talk about menopause is a little like going to Las Vegas to sell savings accounts." Gail Sheehy Dearest |
| Menopause Survival Kit ... Put M&M's into a cute container and follow these directions ... To temporarily calm your craving for chocolate eat the BROWN one ... At the first sign of hot flashes eat the RED one ... Eat the ORANGE one to minimize depression ... The GREEN one calms your frustrations, when you want to be left alone ... If you feel a headache coming on eat the YELLOW one ... The BLUE one reduces bloating ... If all symptoms occur at the same time ... eat the WHOLE bag!!! Author Unknown |
| Perimenopause or premenopause ... is the time before actual menopause. This phase lasts 5 to 13 years & is when you experience most of the symptoms. Menopause is actually a one day event, the last day of your last ever period. Of course, you will not know when that day occurred until you no longer have periods. The average age for menopause is 51. Post-menopause begins 1 year after your LAST period. The 35 Symptons Of Menopause ... 1. Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling 2. Bouts of rapid heart beat 3. Irritability 4. Mood swings, sudden tears 5. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats) 6. Irregular periods, shorter, lighter periods, heavier periods, flooding, phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles 7. Loss of libido 8. Dry vagina 9. Crashing fatigue 10. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease 11. Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom 12. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion 13. Disturbing memory lapses 14. Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing, urge incontinence 15. Itchy, crawly skin 16. Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons 17. Increased tension in muscles 18. Breast tenderness 19. Headache change: increase or decrease 20. Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea 21. Sudden bouts of bloat 22. Depression 23. Exacerbation of existing conditions 24. Increase in allergies 25. Weight gain 26. Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body. Increase in facial hair 27. Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance 28. Changes in body odor 29. Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head 30. Tingling in the extremities 31. Gum problems, increased bleeding 32. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor 33. Osteoporosis (after several years) 34. Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier 35. Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, 'whooshing' buzzing etc. Author Unknown |
in your journey thru the BIG M. And in essence, that is what it is ... a journey.
It is not always a pleasant journey, but a journey none the less.
Speaking from personal experience ... I would suggest this ...
Arm yourself with all the information you can get. Knowledge is power.
Make sure your doctor is capable of treating you and your symptoms.
There is no need to stay loyal to a doctor who can't or won't help you.
Take time to still enjoy life ... Menopause can be anything but fun.
But don't let it be the reason for all the "sorrow" in your life.
There will be plenty of joy in other parts of your life ... just lQQk for it.
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