You start introducing yourself as "lord at pacbell dot com".
Your wife drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
You check your mail. It says NO NEW MESSAGES. So you check it again.
Your phone bill is delivered in a box.
You name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and Dotcom.
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
You tell the cab driver you live at "http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html"
You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with NETSCAPE 3.01 or higher".
You never have to deal with busy signals because you never log off.
You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
You start tilting your head sideways whenever you smile :-).
Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy another computer and install another phone line so
that the two of you can chat.
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the 'back' button.
Your computer goes down, you haven't logged in for two hours. You start to tremble. You pick up the phone and dial your
Internet access number. You try to mimic computer noise in order to connect ... And You Succeed!
YESTERDAY
Yesterday ...
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly ...
There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone
Hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
Yesterday ...
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.
You Know You're Addicted When ...
You meet your best friend for lunch. She says something funny. You say:
"LOL" or "LMAO"
While cleaning the kitchen counter with the dishcloth, you glance up at the
window, see a fly on it, and think it's the cursor moving with your mouse.
Your dreams and nightmares are somehow ... different ... they are ... in TEXT!
Even though you finally turned off your computer in order to pay attention to
some grossly neglected housework, when a neighbor rings your doorbell, you
find yourself wondering who just signed on.
Your children need to wrestle you to the floor and pry the mouse out of your
hand with a crowbar in order to use the computer for their homework.
Food is splashed at least three places on your keyboard and/or monitor - you
have had almost as many meals with your buds in chat rooms as you've had
with your family at the dinner table.
That much-anticipated party you were invited to ... the one you bought that
pricey outfit for? You don't go - afterall, all your buds are online tonight!
It's time to start to make dinner. You tell your family you're just going to
quickly check your e-mail ... 2 hours later, you find them munching Cheerios
in front of the television and you think they've played a trick on you by setting
the clocks ahead ... it only FELT like 15 minutes!
The bookmark in the novel you began to read the day before subscribing to
AOL is still on page 12.
People who call you and actually get through, think they have the wrong
number.
After work, before taking off your coat and those terribly uncomfortable shoes,
you sign-on to check your mail and bud list ... and that's what you used to
do with your answering machine!
You can now sell the answering machine ... all your friends and family know
that the only way to communicate with you is through e-mail.
Redecorating to you no longer means shopping for new curtains or re-painting
the bedroom ... it means going into the Control Panel and changing screen
colors.
Cleaning also has a new meaning ... it's not when you use a bucket and mop,
a dust cloth or vacuum cleaner ... it's when you purge your "old mail" and
personal filing cabinet.
When you are having dinner with friends and need to use the restroom, you
say to them, "BRB".
You begin to go into music stores asking for "wavs" instead of CDs.
Want some more Cyber Chuckles??? Don't miss Cyber Space - Part 3..... Now Showing!!!
Disclaimer:
Unless noted I did not write any of these beautiful verses. I do not claim any credit for their exsistance. If you know who did compose anything on this site, please contact me as I would like to give the authors credit. Thank You!
